nothing good can come from this!

i just finished up watching "contact", which i realize is one of my favorite movies. i started it some time yesterday afternoon after conquering 2 back-to-back midterms and doing intensive work on a conte crayon drawing for 3 hours... which is when i collapsed onto the futon and decided to eat as much pizza as possible and limit my movement from the futon to only the fridge and amanda's room for our weekly old-fashioned-esque melodrama. we made dustin yell at the tv, too. so yeah, it was tough, but i'm fairly confident that i was successful in the art of lazy. i think i'm extending my post-cram recovery period until tomorrow because my mind still feels like a lump of dough.

hm, i wanted to say something on multicultural campus groups making overly-big deals about certain "issues" of racial discrimination, but then realized that it all sounded most heartless. i'm just questioning, because one journalist described african-americans in new orleans as "looting for" food, as opposed to caucasians "looking for" food, should it automatically translate into racial discrimination? i'm not saying that "oh slavery is over so racism is extinct", but really, is discrimination still as heavily present as people claim or are certain words stretched and skewed and pushed into a racially discriminatory light in order to "promote" the issue? er, it's definitely not the right time for this. i wish i could discuss this well, but for now, i'm pretty useless... and it's already late morning!

my pulse feels like it is pounding everywhere with large cement slabs pushing on the sides of my forehead. i want to plod (this word was in today's crossword, so i will now use it all day) around the dorm with my down blanket draped over my head and raid everyone's better-than-mine DVD collections.

muck fichigan

today i wore real past-the-ankle socks for the first time in half a year. fortunately, that alone marks this monday as exciting because otherwise, it was a whole lot of playing catch-up.

but oh, fantabulous weekend of apple-vanilla lotion. belgian waffles. amelie soundtrack. kissing in the rain. hoodie pouches. pillow talking. borrowed clothing. calculator messages. double winking. smoothie skittles. nighttime swimming. cortland apples and squeaky chesse. deep pockets.

for some reason, i like the way people say "i haven't figured myself out yet". also, for some ODD reason, i feel this immense self-pressure to save lives on wednesday by donating my blood, even though it takes place in a cafeteria and will involve pain. i must be feeling guilty for something and am unconsciously trying to redem myself with PAIN, or rather, helping people. or maybe i just want many free cookies and won't admit it, even to myself.

man, i'm wiped.

the week's study music (in order):
damn it feels good to be a gangsta- office space
ruin my life- pat mccurdy
let's get together- al green
all these things that i've done- the killers
i can go the distance- hercules (completely the "influence" of AMY)
naked as we came- iron & wine
maybe it's maybeline- relient k
over and over again (lost and found)- clap your hands say yeah
sex at six- the profits

GRRR

it's rant-and-be-irked day.

$15 CPS clickers irritate me to no end, along with 40-year-old returning college students! i loathe.

swish and flick

I LOVE LONG-SLEEVED SHIRTS, COSMIC BOWLING, AND BALLROOM DANCING.

i've decided that when (yes, WHEN) i get a digital camera, i will have to devote my life to updating my facebook picture as much as humanly possible.

sometimes it's rewarding to hardcore study and have strict schedules and then get good grades, although this is not one of those times. i seriously forgot to do most of my homework for this entire week, which is terrrible because i need this next weekend free for scott and making out and other lovely things. instead of homeworking tonight like a good girl, i watched "2046", which was much more erotic and much less "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" than i thought it would've been. i guess it's being re-released by sony, so it'll soon be coming to US theaters and then americans will also be able to love it or hate it. i wish i could've loved it, but i didn't, despite the beautiful shots and passionate lovers.

this weekend started out excellently but then got kind of blah, probably because i abused my feet and now they're fighting back with pain. tomorrow i have an interview and i am terrified that she will ask me when i was "the best." ???

this great quote was found by my old-but-not-forgotten roomie: "sometimes when i feel like killing someone, i do a little trick to calm myself down. i'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. when the person comes to the door, i'm gone, but you know what i've left on the porch? a jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'you'. after that i usually feel a lot better, and no harm done." -jack handey

that lady never smiles

i heart econ.

on tuesday i had brand new classes! this basically means that i got to introduce myself 3 separate times. i'm not a fan of ice-breaker games or hokey introductions, even though they are necessary, i suppose. i think it's difficult to talk about yourself and explain why you are so special to 20 strangers. the name/year/major part was easy, but then there's the "tell us the most interesting fact about yourself" part. as of tuesday, i will forever be known as "the girl who went to a hilary duff concert" simply because i panicked and drew a blank, then seriously considered hiding underneath my desk.

exciting things today... um, this afternoon i did laundry. loooong time overdue, wow. note to self: clothes drenched in lake water and sweat should not be left in piles for over 1 week. i was almost forced to go naked to class this morning, but instead, spent entirely too long trying to find a shirt and was late. while folding and folding all of my clean, walgreen-fresh scent clothes, i wondered how many times in my life i will do this, and then wondered how i'm supposed to know if i'm expected to do this all the time, and if the traditional-gender-roles-in-place unspoken agreement between a couple living together still exists. also, i noticed about a quarter of my shirts have spots on them. some big, some small, some hot pink. i suppose they're not incredibly noticable, but i want to know, what am i doing wrong?! actually, they kind of look like those faded tie-dyed shirts that they sell at urban outfitters for 30 miiiiillion dollars. but cooler.

other notable things: thought seriously about minoring in sociology, but that idea passed after i figured out how long i get to stay here already for my 1 major. started getting ready for intramural tennis. received exactly 1 package, 1 magazine, and 500 pieces of SPAM mail. got to talk to my 2 other halves.

i really really really can't wait for the movie "the last kiss" to come out next year! i don't know anything whatsoever about the plot, but it stars zach braff and rachel bilson, the screenplay was written by paul haggis, and it is filmed on campus, so therefore, i already love it.

really that's it for now.

hot hot heat

gah. it is ungodly sticky hot in our tiny heat-trapping dorm room, even with windows open and multiple fans going. i cannot wait until real fall with non-artificial breezes and the end of glamorous perspiration!

after waking up from a most realistic and terrifying dream, i managed to scramble (well, sort of like scrambling) out of bed and jot most of it down. rereading it now makes me scared all over again. maybe it has something to do with last night = the most stressed/freaked out i've been in like 4 months.

anyone who participated in the IRONMAN yesterday is my hero... that includes my former philosophy professor and this guy i know named justin.

it's october, right?

...i just asked amy that and she responded with an i-can't-believe-you-just-asked-me-that-you-dork facial expression. what am i thinking?

i give sociology and psychology a thumbs up. both professors for those classes are brainy with senses of humor and write our textbooks to include senses of humor. while that's all great, i have to say, i am not satisfied with the classes. in the end, my soc prof simply acts as a comedian rather than a teacher, reading outloud the ridiculous sex advice articles of cosmo. okay yeah, it's pretty funny stuff. but mister, i do that on my own without the 400 extra people and without getting up early and without a professional who is able to teach me everything! yet, i am being optimistic and not giving up hope that the lectures will soon turn into real lectures.

okay, as cool and kickass as the internet is, i am pretty much hating how everything is now done via internet. want a syllabus? too bad, go to the internet and print it off yourself. your e-mail doesn't work? oh sorry, you just missed a major assignment and now get a ZERO! mwahaha! i am already feeling an unwanted pull of the soon-to-be all-electronic future and nostalgia for the "remember when they used to hand us paper syllabi in class?" times.

other classes that i'm taking: econ (gag me with a spoon) and art and one more that i can't remember right now. after the first week of my first college art class, i find that i have a new mini-identity as an "art student". carrying around 18x24" portfolios is kind of a drag, but displaying ink-stained hands and drawing with pens & nibs is fun. 3 great hours of creative relaxation i say.

yesterday was an important date for many teenagers across the country. i would say that most had it enthusiastically marked down in their calendars. what was this oh-so-eventful event, you ask? if it wasn't the day-after-aftermath of the first presidential elections in egypt, it had to have been the once-in-a-lifetime showing of the OC season premiere. EKK! i was just as excited as the unisex mischa barton-worshippers in my hall, shrieking and gasping to resemble the melodrama on screen... i was entirely and absolutely enthralled throughout the entire episode and i refused to play racquetball until AFTER the scenes from the next episode were played. but let's see here, this one little (but mighty) television show is influencing approximately 9.5 million kids- their personailities, fashion choices, and music tastes. okay, so it sounds a bit mainstream cultish but i refuse to bash this type of television. sometimes i don't understand, how do most college girls and myself manage to make room in our lives for this completely glitzy television show with somewhat terrible acting and sketchy portrayals of "high school" life? i'll tell you how. you forget you have a real life for one hour on thursday nights and it's WONDERbar.

thank goodness for socially-acceptable activities that allow one to scream their brains out, aka: madison football games.

i'm gonna be (500 miles)- the proclaimers

come on eileen

i got to see nick today at breakfast! that was comforting, plus some good crazy girl talk with tegan on state last night over pineapple-coconut/apple-banana smoothies.

this hurricane is unbelievable. i decided that i should keep up with the news, but after 3 minutes of it, i had to flip to tennis because seeing people dying in a convention center while an entire culture is being lost forever is just... too sad to sit and watch while popping popcorn. along with the news as graphic "entertainment", i really don't like lleyton hewitt's whole image.

i have mighty high expectations for this year and am psyched about classes. wait, that's a half-lie. since today was the first day of school, it was suggested that we take a picture with our backpacks on outside of the dorm, but sadly, that never happened. so far i have all of my school supplies, except for notebooks. the university bookstore does not sell nice, normal 8 1/2 x 11" notebooks! they're all weird and five star brand in ginormous square shapes. why? the extra margin with room for the "ripping the page out" dotted guide line is not needed. not since 11th grade physics with mr. brehmer has a non-frayed edge on notebook papers been required. oh, that was a lovely sentence. anyways, more school shitake: i'm in a bind about classes. because i have a somewhat concrete track to a major, i am now at leisure to choose some classes for the hell of it. to take korean or not to take korean? i am in love with learning a language/culture and the people are quite hilarious, but do i really want to be the stupidest person in class... again?! over the summer i managed to forget how much fun it is to walk around campus with a bookbag slung over my shoulder and sunny weather and people to see. oh, and also over the summer i forgot how much i ROCK at pictionary and charades.

breezy beautiful

i am about to write a strongly-worded letter to steve jobs about how excluding (as in discontinuing accessories for) ORIGINAL, non-click wheel ipods is unfair and mean. how cruel do you have to be to ignore the very first ipod supporters and lovers?

being back at college reminds me that life is exciting. there are so many people out there that i've half-met. it'll be in the middle of crying at the cereal bar because they are OUT OUT OUT of my daily corn pops or while running through the same sprinklers on bascom. excitement! it's just... not so keen on the school part. i am perfectly content to do what i've been doing (fun + no commitments) for the past week. today marks my last day as a free woman.

oh, finding a whole u.s. open section of the newspaper rocks my world.