the capital of samoa is

all day swimming in the lake and lying out while reading cosmo/NY times/HP. all night dancing and concert-going at the terrace.

YES!

i am definitely in smit with the profits. right now i'm eating a free (i heart welcome week) sub sandwich to down all of the other free food that i've consumed over the course of tonight. it is delic. aaand i really haven't had a sugar high like this in a while. froot loops loopy.

i like group get-togethers where they make you listen to a standard motivational speaker who talks about respecting people, following dreams and the like. i also like hugs and mini-reunions at group get-togethers from millions of people that you haven't seen since last year. and now i can't really think of anything else besides the fact that I LOVE MY BED.

come alive on friday night

...lyrics from my latest obsession. YES!

okay, what the hell is wrong with spaghetti straps? GRR. the thing i despise most in the entire world is little snide comments that sound like they're not meant to offend but do. bits of judgment, criticism, and superiority rolled into one sentence that means "i know you and i'm better than you." it makes me flare my nostrils and become entirely too defensive. what the hell. it's hot outside! i love my shoulders! i wear tank tops! deal with it. skin is beautiful. okay, had to get that out of my system because it's been hanging over my head since last weekend. so.

lately i've been watching good middle-aged chicky-flicky type movies with my mum. i can actually identify with diane keaton in "something's gotta give" at the part right after jack nicholson breaks up with her. AH! sporadic fits of sobbing have become a hobby of mine. it's kind of funny, in the movie and real life. the cause of my temporary (let's hope) insanity and complete unglued-ness is a combination of things, i think. i am in a funk and there's really no other word to describe it. really, i just looked it up on thesaurus.com.

today i tried on about 25 gorgeous BCBG dresses for the wedding! oh haven't you heard? his name is george, because i've always wanted a man named george. we met at hollywood video in the drama section, which is also where he proposed. so amazingly perfect. i'll be coming back to rochester on the weekend of october the 15th for the wedding and much eating and drinking and dancing. sooo excited.

high points of the week: learning a new way to eat pizza with honey and campaniling. mmmMMMmmm to both. i haven't started packing even though i go back to madison technically tomorrow! i have, however, made approximately 5 1/2 separate trips to super target in preparation for packing. i feel like i should start right this second! but not really, because i am overly excited to go to sleep tonight.

steve carell > will smith

no doubt about it, seventh heaven still sucks and animal planet and gameshow network are tied for being THE best stations EVER. baby pengiuns and COLLEGE jeopardy! ohmygod, how can you resist? the other day my mum corrected me with a "goshhh" after i uttered my maybe 5th "ohmygod" of the day, and she never does that. i want to know what suddenly brought this on, because otherwise she's going to keep on shhh-ing me whenever i get excited over something.

someone once described being neutral on issues and having a wide range of beliefs as "wishy-washy" and i argued it at the time, but now, i'm thinking he was right. this is revelant to my life at this moment because i am sometimes very random. i remember going to this iraqi war debate at school last winter-ishtime. since people were too interested in other things like homework and/or beer, i went there by myself and took a seat in the way up last corner seat farthest from the stage, making it obvious that i was simply there to observe and learn. my friend katy, aka: miss policitally active, along with the best polisci prof on campus were the 2 moderators. during one rebuttle by the conservative kids to the liberals' stance (iraqi war is wrong but the troops should stay put until things are worked out/in better condition than they were before) and to the progressives' (iraqi war is major horseshit and our occupation is actually making things worse for the sunni/shi'ite relationship and we're not even repairing the things that we promised to repair, such as electricity and water supply), this guy bolts up and makes a scene loud enough for everyone to stop and stare. he interrupts the short, glasses-wearing conservative kid and yells at him like hell. i really can't describe well the rage that this guy had, but he was shouting obscenities and threats at the 3 conservative club reps as if they were Bush and his entire cabinet. after he was obviously asked to leave, i sat there shaken up, along with the conservative kids, one of whom was on the verge of tears. when things kept on going, i couldn't stop staring at the conservatives who had just gotten verbally beaten up, wondering how in the world they could go on defending themselves and their beliefs when there were all of these MAD PEOPLE out to get them! i felt badly for them, not as conservatives, but as human beings with feelings and ears! right then and there, i decided that i never want to get personally attacked in the way that i had just witnessed. so, i figured i must always remain neutral on issues and just stay the hell out of people's way. it really really made sense to me at the time and even though i realize that it's no way to live, it's so so tempting. honestly. but i suppose, then where would we be without every SIGNIFICANT HISTORICAL FIGURE, who has ever been yelled at, been hated, or gotten a "fuck you" in their face?

let's see, highlights of the day: rocked at tennis and saw "the 40-year-old virgin" with cute steve carell. tennis makes me feel incredibly out of shape. it hurts my neck, abs, legs, arms, my everything... and then i resort to the lazy run, which is when you run without really trying with your legs. oh, how sad but funny. "the 40-year-old virgin" reminded me of "hitch" with more cussing and no will smith and better!

i am somewhat neurotic because of things and people leaving, but mostly, i think because i'm so ansty-excited that my favorite season is starting! today was chilly and i wore my FLEECE, gotta love it. i can't wait to break out all of the sweaters and say helloooo to september. even though we did the EXACT thing a year ago with the goodbyes and the leaving and the long-distances, it's still uncomfortable and not cool. i think the only thing to do is to lose myself with a good cry in my jane austen novel of suppressed love and elegant words.

rosemary mint

I CHOPPED OFF MY HAIR. why didn't anybody ever tell me before that short hair is the best? i am so so so cool while sitting here and shaking my head back and forth while my hair goes swish to the killers CD that em just burned me. i love love love the way it makes me want to go to a rock concert and head-bang or whatever. oh god, is that what it's called? i forgot. cool. i still love my hair, so much that it almost got me into a car accident! love is a dangerous thing.

there are lots of good things about haircuts, and lots of bad things. but good things... you get to hear loud people obsessing about their hair and discussing their lives with a semi-stranger, their hairdresser. i mean, depending on if you sit there for just a trim or a cut and color, you really get to know the people sitting around you. during my little haircut i sat by these old(er) women, and then katie assef, but before her, these ladies were chatting and they were hysterical. one hands the other a magazine and says: "here. you get redbook, and ooh, it has tim mcgraw on the cover!" and the other exclaims: "can't beat that with a stick!" and i thought it was the cutest thing in the world, and am now using that phrase pretty much everywhere i go. oh yeah, did you know that steve martin writes books that are on the new york times bestseller list? that peter gallagher sings and has a record deal? that jane seymour has her own children's clothing line? woah. another fun thing about haircuts is that while sitting in a high spinny chair, you get all the gossipy fashion magazines that you can possibly drool over. but... since when are we supposed to be masters of EVERYTHING? hi i'm leah and i'm a writer, an actress, a rock star, a playwright, a doctor, an orthodontist, a lawyer, an artist, and a lunatic, ha! beat that.

some bad things, quickly: looking and feeling like a not quite feminine hairy beast when they pull hair in front of my face as i try to still carry on a normal conversation, staring at myself in the mirror for at least an hour while looking bald and not knowing what kind of face i should be making, the uncomfortable sinks that hurt my neck, the perfectly styled look that i can never replicate on my own. but overall, haircuts = fun!

all day today the sky threatened rain and finally it downpoured. i like that the sky has the ability to "threaten"... my neighbor used that verb. anyways, tomorrow i'm going to do lots. oh, speaking of... not really, i have a new necklace! i've worn the same one for the past 2 years and today i decided on a whim to replace it and only cried a little. ch-ch-ch-changes. a quote about self-addiction from a book by a guy just came to mind, which is ironic because i was thinking today while it was raining and i was driving about how much i felt like i owned rochester. it's mine, alllll mine!

okay, i have come to the conclusion that the only good click 5 song is the one they play on KROC. thank you! and goodnight!

plus one

i thought i had a lot of great thoughts, but unsurprisingly, uh not really. i'm sitting in bed thinking about all of the things i dislike about myself (because self-deprecation is oh-so-attractive) while listening to some damn good tracy chapman.

my sister is downstairs bawling her eyes out because she just witnessed some of her good friends in a bad car accident. i have to say, when it comes to "tragedy", i lose it. i will be insensitive when i need to be most sensitive and not cry until it feels real to me. my tear ducts are selfish. i have never been able to make myself cry. never good at acting. in middle school our coolest youth pastor (matt) moved to the cities and we had a goodbye celebration... no, that sounds wrong, goodbye party... still sounds a bit wrong, goodbye thingamabob for him after the service. everybody cried except for me. all of my girlfriends were around me wiping their eyes and blowing their noses and when it was time to give matt hugs and well wishes, i felt shitty because my eyes were dry. it's not like i was going to miss him any less than anyone else, so why couldn't my eyes give me a break and shed a few tears? i can cry compassionately during the notebook, but not when kate is obviously terribly distraught. oh well. people have problems with showing emotion. i am just confirming my normalcy while being ridiculous.

must start studying... i feel guilty for indulging in more sex & the city episodes and noodles. actually, not too guilty. i think i'm going on week 3 of the "bad mood" and can official say that august has sucked quite a bit. i'm trying my best to love it, but so far, not working.

raindrops keep falling on my head

arggh, i need to take a shower, but i'm being a bit, or a lot too lazy.

tonight is the last night of my entire life that i will spend renting people stupid movies. i can't wait to celebrate. it will be at exactly 12:15 am and i will be alone at my house with everyone else ASLEEP, but damnit, i will celebrate!

i just read something good on how existentialism makes life possible and how it really is amazing that humans have the ability to equate imperfection with perfection, even though our ideals will never be realistic because they are the definition of perfection. neoplatoism (what differates between the ideal and carnal/what exists in the material world) makes us aware that idealism does not really exist. but somehow, we ignore that. so thanks to the mythical character of sisyphus (NOT syphilis), we choose to keep on living life despite its proved imperfection. anyways, it made me want to watch "i <3 huckabees" again, mostly because i <3 dustin hoffman.

i'm a fairly terrible person. since summer is slowly but surely winding down, i not only avoid doing the whole small talk thing with high school "peeps" but now refuse to do it altogether. i condescendingly smile "hello, i know you. i know exactly what we're going to talk about and how pointless it is to even start. so, enjoy the rest of your summer and have the time of your life this year." i smile like this even though i tell myself that it wouldn't be pointless. it might even be slightly comforting and wonderful, remembing that hey, we've been in each other's lives for quite some time now. but like i said, a bit lazy.

yesterday i could have been at the ben folds/rufus wainwright concert, but i couldn't. that made me sad. instead, i listened to them on my ipod while reading some really great plays by rebecca gilman. and i missed a killers concert in the cities! and i forgot jos' birthday until he told me! more terrible.

okay, now i'm stalling. it's rainy and muggy. shower time.

what the

watching "ice princess" in an air conditioned place is what makes my life the best right now.

i am already sick of thefacebook, miss teen usa smiles, and the new scandalously shallow gilmore girls/OC-wannabe show on abcfamily. disgusting. although it is kind of funny the way a person can be unconsciously drawn from "ape to man" on the history channel to "hogan knows best" on MTV. hulk hogan's badass act is just ever so slightly above naked, hairy, recreated neanderthals. in case you couldn't tell, i've been trying to watch more television lately. so now, i can actually be one of those people who knows which commerical someone else is talking about and can laugh. loudly.

so ready to live on my own. i'm also ready to lie down and sleep for 2 months.

sweet surrender- sarah mclachlan

zeus & tarzan

a couple of days ago (as my family was killing me with their crazy antics) was when i finally made a complete list of everywhere i've been in my entire life. i made rules for myself, such as, "been there" only counts if i have stayed in the place for a long enough period of time to get a feeling for it, like overnight or more than once, because airport passings aren't good enough. i came up with specific cities, states, and countries... and figured that i have yet to travel to 30 states in the u.s. and 4 out of 7 countries. eventually, my sister and dad made lists also and kate helped me include every single town that we've traveled to in minnesota. kind of ridiculous but hey, why not? ah, there are so many continuously growing lists that i sometimes being to feel as if i accomplish nothing. these lists are fun... hobbies i would like to start (sewing, film, gourmet cooking) and when scott and i sit down and comment "oh, that'd be a fun job" to random random everything, but lists are also, somewhat overwhelming. i should stop them and have no failed, uncompleted goals. then i could begin each morning by congratulating myself on waking up.

today i really didn't have anything planned. whenever this happens, the day ahead seems very intimidating, although, i feel good knowing that i can fill up a whole day with nothing really at all. right now i'm at my future home, or at least, one of them. i'm house-sitting, which basically involves sitting around at their house, while pretending for the week that this is my own gorgeous place of modern wooden beams, glass railings, classy artwork and a spiral staircase. i'm also keeping their 2 fat cats alive, which involves food and scratching behind their ears. this afternoon i've been going through their CDs and listening to them one by one... johnny cash, bright eyes, elvis costello, alison krauss, yo-yo ma, van morrison, tom waits, beck, bruce springsteen, bob dylan... it should take me most of the day. i just finished reading "extremely loud & incredibly close" by jonathan safran foer, which i recommend because of its b&w pictures, 9-year-old humor and those few pages that had the ability to make me cry in public.

oh my goodness... what makes a good chick flick good: classic john cusak, light and dark humor, minimal amount of token cheesy moments. who's in the mood for a spam museum road trip?

lac court oreilles

here's a little hellooo from hayward at the cabin.

let's see, i feel like a recount of this entire day. was it particularly interesting? uh, i guess i won't know until the end. this morning i woke up at the lovely hour of 11, maybe 12... and couldn't really walk/stand/move due to waterskiing/running the day before. painfully stomping down the stairs was fun. after some jetskiing with my sista, where we got tossed all over by big waves (ouch) while screaming dramatically, we skipped over to the cutesy touristy town of hayward. there, we bought mucho candy from the candy store and then ate the candy on benches, watching all the vacationing families with the loud, whiny kids go by. we went browsing a bit in the insanely overpopulated "hayward, wi" and "vote for pedro" t-shirt stores lining main street before heading back for leisure reading, dinner, and an intense, bordering on vicious, family card game. besides the fact that it is humid as hell here and sometimes the family goes a bit insane, it's a nice retreat. even with a DVD player and my ipod, i still manage to feel close to nature with the lake sunsets and loony loons.

i just finished reading harry potter & the order of the phoenix (hp5 as kate says) and gossip girl #6 (recommended by a friend, on loan). i feel as if my reading choices are those of a much younger person. a younger person with great taste in books, that is. i'm now on my way to finishing mere christianity, which doesn't happen to mention either quidditch or manolos.

"but i don't want to call him tonight. i mean, it's a good night and i have a great book." -the dog/house-sitter