characters welcome

the thunder and lightning compel me to write something.

i just spent the last 20 minutes downstairs trying to outwit an imaginary intruder in our house, you know, by peering around corners, faking them out by switching on different lights, and moving as quietly as possible. now safe and sound under the covers in my own room, i come to the conclusion that i watch a hell of a lot of law & order, 24, things to do with murder, rape, torture and the like.

today i spent my afternoon at the flower shop buying "feel better" bouquets to do my best to make a few people feel better about themselves and the blindsiding shit that is handed out when they have already gone through hell and back. when i woke up this morning i was determined to make the world a better place, but after the two arrangement ladies behind the counter finished a second bouquet, i kind of gave up. i lost all brightness and realized that flowers are only fucking flowers. i do not know what to do. i am not able to give "you will be all better for good, i promise" flower bouquets and i hate to believe it.

i will now fall asleep to sounds of dripping rain
and soon learn how to post flikr pictures
and later get organized for korea, mentally and physically.