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have started the best christmas list ever
have watched so much LOST and i want to discuss it with everyone!
have gotten another failing grade
have started my running routine again
have not unpacked from break yet
have hung 600 twinkle lights all over the apartment
have made an impossible number of plans for this weekend

am deliriously happy

you turn me on to the idea of growing older

although i am in love with seeing family and old friends, i always forget the deep bouts of depression that hit me when i am back home. the constant changes of my rock-solid childhood ideals of family and even the city of rochester itself force me to actually acknowledge the non-ideal changes within myself and the physical/emotional distance between myself and everyone else. i don't know what to make of the past few, quite angst-ridden, years after attempting to fool myself into thinking that all of this would end with high school. the inevitable process of growing older is out-right depressing when i stop to think about it, not simply because of TLC's 10 years younger show (horrible!) but because the older i get, the more knowledge i acquire and the more i understand the gross and brutual realities of the world. amplified by recent adulthood, i feel constantly suffocated and pressured with a lack of margin for error. i wish that i could go back to my teenage self for a bit to get my head on my shoulders, back at a time when i was rarely afraid of yelling irrationally about what i feel- whether it was admitting cluelessness or ranting about people that i do not like.

now it's time to bite down and really sink my teeth into school for once this semester. at least it's comforting to know that the scary, bold deadlines filling my planner until december 21st are eventually followed by COMPLETELY BLANK pages.

fresh start

hi there. lately i have been so unhappy with myself that i don't know what to do except for start fresh. it is getting to the point where i don't even write what i actually think anymore. so, i have decided to start writing more and more honestly starting now. well actually, i should go finish my art history paper and then probably watch more wonderful episodes of LOST that wonderful scott downloaded to my wonderful laptop while half-assing my not-so-wonderful real estate homework while restraining myself from devouring all of the HOMEMADE chocolate brownies (+ homemade frosting, i am so proud of myself) that i just baked. but soon!

fuck the rococo

(subject title = facebook group of another school that i desperately want to join but cannot)
i feel like i am so serious about life right now, and i need not to be! i am serious about that.

as promised:
1. BORAT is worth about a 4-word review = naked hairy jewish balls
2. favorite quote = "the opposite of love is indifference" by who knows, i heard it on oprah said by preston burke/isaiah washington in reference to his catfight with patrick demsey, haha

tomorrow afternoon = home, family, grandma, scott, em, chloe, a full refrigerator

pre-holiday cheer

tonight i had one of the best meals of my life (see below picture) at an authentic chinese dinner party! i do not know the names of any of the dishes, since their names don't translate, but mmm... phenomenally better than sketch carry-out JADE GARDEN on park street. for dessert we had tofu pumpkin pie and black tea while watching the classic "home alone" on televsion. at first i was a little nervous about going to this shindig tonight since i didn't know anyone except for the hostesses, hsaio-chi and her other taiwanese roommate, but they invited all of their american and taiwanese friends together and served us their homemade heavenly food and wow, what a great night with a room full of semi-strangers.



later... review of "borat" and my new favorite quote.

miller high life

tonight i have been busy trying to figure out how to get out of this corporate university trap as soon as possible while scheduling my spring semester classes. however, as much as i do not want to spend another 3 semesters in undergraduate studies, i am still secretly dying to take more (unnecessary) classes... communication arts and environmental studies just sound oh-so-irresistable.

the past few days have been excellent: talking to my long-distance friends in new york, eau claire, and ecuador, finishing season 2 of grey's anatomy, which leaves me very teary-eyed and emotionally drained (hello, izzy and denny + chasing cars in the background = bawling), the beginning of the short but glorious 2-3 days of my hair being at the perfect length, getting pathetically tipsy after 1 beer tonight at the nitty because i haven't had a drink in forever but having the best half hour high ever.

i should have been dead, asleep 2 hours ago. i meant, dead-asleep, not dead. eh... i felt like writing this out before the pre-thanksgiving/finals frenzy begins. i really really want to read all of these books right now and it kind of devastates me that there is no real time for me to read them:

the end- lemony snicket
ecology of commerce- paul hawken
mid-course correction- ray anderson
under the banner of heaven- jon krakauer

perhaps tonight. why not? oh right, because i will wake up tomorrow morning with the largest book cover creases ever implanted in my face.

finally!

good things:
*pandora.com (totally free, totally legal, totally cool)
*the motivational "cards are cheaper than therapy" cards that my dad sends me
*cooking delicious meals as a form of procastination
*roommates and their jokes
*vanilla yogurt sprinkled with fresh raspberries
*multiple mid-day phone calls
*making up nicknames for everyone in lecture with alison
*clipped and painted nails
*drooling over my amazon.com wish list of mostly books
*tickets to AIDA at the overture theatre tomorrow night
*startling randoms with my awful cough
*learning chinese? (nee-haw = hello)
*receiving a postcard from the old roommate in MADRID and living vicariously through her and her wild spanish partying that lasts til 6am
*cotton tees all week

slow dancing in a burning room

it's spring and flip flops have never felt this good. thank god. right now i am on day #3 of a really bad cold, which means that my hearing is all screwy and i sound like a smurf. at least i am over day 1 (not being able to breath) & 2 (not being able to talk) of this ridiculous virus. around noon i took some of sara's innocent-looking, generic cold medicine, only to pass out an hour later in the class where we were inconveniently GIVING PRESENTATIONS. i managed to speak while unsuccessfully forcing every muscle in my bod to keep my eyes open and my head upright. in the end, i had fooled no one and simply confessed my earlier drug consumption and dragged myself out of the room.

yesterday morning i failed my first exam ever! i know i should be worried or nervous for my baby/GPA, but the failing grade will be completely accurate. this exam, like the majority of exams, showed my prof the amount of time i devoted to rote memorization (zilch) and basically said: hi, i'm leah nichols (or rather, student ID# ...........) and i cannot memorize 2978 dates, names, theories, and terms in 1 day when sick in bed and that is fine with me.

okay, so i'm not rocking school or my immune system so much lately. however, i have been able to see some pretty darn good movies. but before i forget, my roommate, kristin, just got offered the 'teach for america' job that she's been working for her entire college career. this is terribly exciting. it's so motivational (and fairly rare on a personal level) to see the process that someone goes through to make a goal, work towards it, and achieve it. major kudos to her.

marie antoinette (A)
i've been wanting to see this movie for quite some time, despite the mixed reviews and only knowing marie antoinette for her "cake" line. i liked this movie so much that i am actually excited to see it again! even though kirsten dunst gets a lot of crap, she was perfect for this role. jason schwartzman was also perfect as louis XVI (although not as fat as i expected) for his awkward sweetness. molly shannon and moaning myrtle were both in this movie too, but i don't know what was up with that. the gazillion costume changes in this movie was great for feasting upon all of the absolutely gorgeous dresses. the soundtrack was also great in a not-going-to-buy-it-yet-but-will-listen-to-its-free-clips-constantly way. in summary, sofia coppola is stellar.

half nelson (B+)
i saw this with alison and scott on saturday night at the union. i wasn't sure what to expect, as none of us really knew what the movie was about except for the fact that it stars hottie ryan gosling. it was a fairly realistic story with minimal dialogue of a drug-addicted teacher and his relationships with his students, family, self. overall, a really good film cinematographically (probably not a word) and in terms of character-building and depth, but nowhere near uplifting or "fun" even in the end.

stranger than fiction (B+)
yay will ferrell, maggie gyllenhaal, emma thompson, boo queen latifah (sorry to all the fans) and dustin hoffman. this comedy (but not really) was actually one that went beyond its funny preview clips and was smart enough to make a real story. lots of the movie is semi-awkward, simply because its tone shifts from serious to funny so many different times. everyone in the audience would be silent for a long while and then suddenly be burst out laughing- a bit frightening but i joined in. if you think about the movie too hard, it doesn't make sense. so i recommend this for a night where you really really really don't feel like thinking... maybe when you are half-passed out because you will still get the plot + scattered one-liners.

that is all! now off to real estate with all of the money-obsessed, china-hating mongrels...